The most recent dream.
The night of December 6th. It was a normal night. Nothing stressful or painful. I was actually on vacation / staycation from the Thanksgiving Holiday. My brain was finally given some time to relax .. 🙂
In the dream I am standing outside. Dirt under my feet. In front of a stage. there are people all around me and to my right is my husband holding my hand. I don’t see his face .. but I just know its him. There are some people standing behind me but I dont pay attention to them much.. and there are TONS of people all around (just like in the above picture) – however there was a ‘circle’ of space around me, my husband and the people standing behind us.
Everyone is jumping and singing and dancing and waving. The lights are flashing on and off – its a concert!! An outdoor concert! But me and the hubby. We are just standing there staring at the stage and the 3 performers. On the left of the stage, its Patsy Cline – On the right of the stage its Elvis Presley and dead center – Its my MOM. She’s young. Not kid young, but much younger then I remember her. She’s wearing blue bell bottom pants, a white shirt and her hair is down and LONG. She’s smiling ear to ear. Singing, dancing, “shimmy-ing” along with Patsy and Elvis as if they had been performing for ages together.. Both patsy and elvis are younger as well.
There is a spot light on me and they [the 3 on stage] are singing right at ME. I’m not dancing. I’m not smiling. I’m not doing much but watching them.
And then I notice..
I CAN’T UNDERSTAND THEM AGAIN!
Here I am – in the middle of this “great performance” – everyone is singing along and the words that are coming out of their mouths are foreign to me AGAIN. It is the same as the 2nd dream however.
I stare intently at everyone’s mouths, mouthing the words they are singing along to – trying to make out what they are saying.. trying to get a clue as to what it means.. Trying to put two and two together to understand it.. I try to repeat each word but nothing comes out – my mouth refuses to mimic the words they are speaking/singing.
Tho it does sounds beautiful. I get a feeling of warmth and “cozyness” again but I just can’t understand them for the life of me AGAIN!
The people behind us step closer toward us as I can feel their presence more and the back ‘space’ that was their before is now smaller. I look up to the sky and it’s night time. Full of stars glowing this glow like I had never seen before. Its as if I could reach up and pick them out one by one from the sky. They are so perfect It makes me start looking around as if to find answers to questions I feel forming in my head..
Hubby squeezes my hand as if to say “its okay – just be in the moment” and I begin to watch them perform on stage again.
She’s singing. She’s dancing. She’s pointing.. at ME.. then to the sky then back at me then to herself.
She smiles (her smile we all know) and tilts her head, drops her hand holding the mic and turns around .. Just then i felt a hand on my shoulder – not a threatening hand but a gentle hand that one does to get someones attention – i feel a warmth radiate from where he has touched my shoulder.. I know its a he because the hand is a heavier weight – and just as I am about to turn around to see who it is – everyone is engulfed in the light and I awaken.. AGAIN.
Manny is downstairs in the kitchen cooking breakfast. I showered and got ready to get on with my day.
Again this dream wasn’t stressing or emotional. It was a weird one.
I figured i would start writing them down so i can keep a recollection of them and so that family can read what I experience in my dreams of her.
I still miss her. Tons. More than tons on tons. But these dreams – tho a few and far – give me a sense of warmth. A sense of “she’s okay” ness..
Do I still have battles with my faith. Yes.
Do I believe in my dreams I have of her. Yes.
Does it give me comfort. Yes.
Do I still miss her.. YES ON TOP OF YES.
But right now – since the only way i can see her is in these dreams.. I’ll take it.
Until Next time.