It’s been a few.. I know.. Other than some wears that have been posted – I’ve lost the want to write. Life as always gets hecktic. Things come up. On top of taking care of the daily grind then I got sick.. and yea.. blah blah blah..

So – Right now – I have tons on  my mind I want to write out about – so forgive me in advance if this post is abit all over the place.

First and foremost -Today was a MIND BREAKING day. Not in the way most of you may be thinking – but more of – I have come to realize that starting from GROUND ZERO in the terms of working out .. SUCKS ARSE. My arms hurts.. and I was NOT happy with my performance today.

As we all know – we are our OWN worst critics and Today – I had a Mental BREAKTHROUGH so to say. I am starting from GROUND ZERO again.. but its okay.. This time around I am determined to NOT LET ANYTHING get in my way again. I AM DETERMINED to MAKE MYSELF A PRIORITY. I am DETERMINED to NOT criticize myself for once in my life and LET things progress .. We all have to start somewhere (even if it is AGAIN!) lol

Granted as I said – I am my own worst critic and my performance was def. better than when i had first started .. but just not “up to my standards” so to say..

ANYWAYS..

Because of that – I am making today my GROUND ZERO DAY..

The day I start fresh.

The FIRST day to my [better] self.

So with that – these are going to be in broken sets because – there is TONS i want to write.

I want to start with some insights about myself.. Reintroduce myself in a way that is more … whats the word.. personal.. share a bit of my background and up bringings with you. And if not FOR YOU – THEN MORE SO – FOR ME .. Somewhere to WRITE MY MEMORIES that are in my HEAD. Cuz lord KNOWS i REMEMBER ALOT OF STUFF (or as my husband says – I REMEMBER EVERYTHING AND ALL THE DUMB SH!) haha.. But more on THAT later 😉

So as you know, My name is Michelle. I was born and raised in Chicago, the youngest of 4. I come from  a very diversified background. And truthfully, if asked my nationality.. I’m a straight MUTT. Mexican, Irish, German, English, Native American, etc etc etc. I even did one of those dna test that confirmed exactly that fact.. I’m a mutt with blood lines running throughout the world. (Maybe I’ll post that all up one day)

I was a complete and UTTER TOM BOY as a kid. Dirt and rocks in my pockets. Bottle caps, string and glass too. But – I had my girly side. That i tried to hide that from everyone in fear of being teased as being “girly”. (lol go figure right).

My best friends growing up where my neighbor Jr and my cousin Michael. We where INSEPARABLE!

I looked up to my siblings.. Wanted to play baseball because of my brother, who BACK THEN [key WORDS!], was a GOD in my eyes. Hell I even went as far as wanting the same CRAPPY ass ugly glasses that he had thus making my 8th grade picture one I REFUSE to EVER SHARE!

Summer time was always my favorite time of year. We went camping with EVERYONE… and I mean EVERYONE.. EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR! My families from both sides of my parents WENT. We took up almost the ENTIRE KOA camp grounds!! Tent after Tent after Tent!! Marshmallow roasting – beer cans full of rocks.. SWIMMING. SCARY STORIES. My uncle scaring us by jumping out of trees… WITH MASKS ON.. oy x_X.. (LADY WITH THE LIMP ANYONE!?) – rolling down the hills.. Being SO UNEVENLY TANNED that – my mother thought I was just COVERED in DIRT!! LMAO.. (AND GODDDDDD!!! DID I HATTTE THE SPIT WASHES!! Oh you know! Those “[lick thumb] come here” trying to rub the dirt off your face almost EVERY PARENT DID to their CHILDREN!! blah!! That still grosses me out btw!) lmao..  BUT CAMPING!! – THAT, I loved so much – i never wanted to leave. In fact – I “ran away” to the pool one time with my little green turtle friend (aka my little plastic water floater that was my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!) when my parents where packing up to leave. Luckily a few of my aunts and uncles where there and i got to stay 2 days longer with them! ^_^ (btw 80% of the time – I got my way when i was a kid! ^_~)

I drank from a bottle up to a pretty big age (big as in i was basically a toddler with a bottle lol) It wasn’t filled with milk or anything. NO.. My mother gave us the good ol fashion DIET COKE in a bottle! I stopped drinking that bottle when I threw it out of the back window of our black van on the way to one of the said camping trips above. And dear GOD i remember that day as if it was yesterday! It was a yellow plastic bottle.. I was sitting on the bed in the back (as i said this was an old Chevy van – my father converted the back seats into a bed as we did a lot of roaming since we didn’t have alot of money for hotels 🙂 ) – back to the story – I distinctly remember putting it between the tiny space of the window that only opened up so much and LETTING IT GO.. WATCHING IT ROLL AWAY and then REALIZING, WAIT.. that was my BOTTLE!! .. SCREAMING and CRYING for my parents to turn back around to get it..  Only to find it had been CRUSHED by passing cars .. my heart was broken – and that was the LAST I ever seen of any bottle.. </3

I was a LOUD! RAMBUNCTIOUS – Willing to try anything! AND HAD TO GET MY WAY! (and if i didn’t I would TALK my way into CONVINCING the said party into AGREEING that my way was RIGHT! 😉 ) Type of kid..

I liked a lot of things MOST children of my age wouldn’t dare think to try or like..

I LOVED SARDINES.. My father jokingly teased me that i wouldn’t eat them one day while he was sitting at the table cleaning them out.. To his surprise – I ate the entire can and wanted more.. It become of my favorite snacks during summer time.

I LOVED CLAMS (not the breaded ones either!) And Muscles!!

Every year – our block had a block party.. It was THE BLOCK PARTY of CHICAGO! Seriously.. Bassi was like an uncle to me.. And everyone on our block knew each other or was FAMILY (even if it wasn’t by blood) – We would have the grills out – Jimmie would bring over clams and muscles and tons of other stuff. And again – my curiosity brought me to them cooking the little oddly looking things and wanting to try them.. And again – my father teasing that I wouldn’t eat them – only to all their surprises – me LOVING THEM..

I was  a huge teachers pet. but to me – it wasn’t being a teachers pet.. It was me wanting to PROVE that I COULD DO ANYTHING.. That I COULD HANG WITH THE BEST OF THEM.. That I could be on TOP. Tho today, i can look back and say – it did come off as a teacher pet-ish.. but i wouldn’t change it if i could..

Then I met a girl named edith in gradeschool. She was a pure GENIUS if i ever saw one! She sped read everything and had a photographic memory.. but she was super quiet 🙂 I was so impressed by her I tried to teach myself to speed read and train my brain to be photographic.. (because back then I totally believed it could be learned! lmao)..

Oh man – my FIRST BEST FRIEND EVER was this girl Bertha.. We went to preschool together.. She was quiet.. but one of the coolest persons I had ever met. We hit it off instantaneously.. Hide and seek – Pretend Cooking – Dancing – we were basically inseparable..then she switched schools..

I had a mental BREAK DOWN in first grade (Mrs. Farbins class) because one day i forgot my homework and didn’t get a GOLD STAR in my GIZMO folder for that day!!! lol.. IT WAS TOTALLY HEARTBREAKING!! (don’t laugh!) I TRUELLY FELT like i let my parents down because of it :-/ lol

My parents where both HARD WORKING parents. They both had jobs.. and because of that – I got to spend a lot of time after school with my grandmother from my moms side.

She is why I KNEW so many SOAP operas as a kid.

Favorite story she use to tell me when i was older is that – When i was a baby – I would SLEEP ALL DAY – until a certain time of day – EVERY SINGLE DAY – I would wake up pointing at the tv.. Wanting to watch SESAME STREET .. (it just so happened to be the  EXACT same TIME her soap was on too!!) But again, I got my way about 85% of the time ^_^ (yes i upped it by 5%!! lol)

And on the topic of my grandmother.. I was a TOTAL!!! Grandma and Papap girl!!

Don’t believe me? Just take a look at all our xmas and holiday pictures.. if my grandparents where in it – I was either directly to their side – or sitting on their lap!

Oh yes – that was me – the possessive .. “THAT’S MY GRANDMA!” or “THAT’S MY PAPAP!” child.. pushing aside ANYONE that dared TRY to take that place over me.. (plus i was totally their favorite.. ^_~ and I don’t lie! They TOLD ME SO!! So Booya! But know that, as any RESPECTABLE grandparent would do – when asked by other “non favorite” kids – they will gladly lie to you & say “all their grandkids are their favorite”) ^_~

My Papap – he tought me to crochet and always helped me with my math homework. He also taught me how to sew!! 😀

My grandmother – she taught me how to play the piano! And how to SHOP 😉 With our weekly cab rides to Milwaukee ave. and visiting my favorite of stores GOLDBLATTS! Because we would enter – I would get a dime and proceed to spend half the trip sitting in a little wooden box watching OLD WOODY WOOD PECKER movies!! Then I would find my grandmother – and she would have a “surprise” for me that I got once we checked out. (Usually SANRIO stuff… Yea – she was the ORIGINATOR of my love of all things SANRIO!)

There where days we also got to visit the wonder bread store. They use to carry these little miniature “loaf of bread” breads – packaged like the big ones and errrythang except “my size”.. – Okay so to me, in my OWN LITTLE IMAGINATION, it was like they took a GIANT bag and put it into a miniaturizer and SHRUNK IT DOWN specifically FOR ME! In Truth – it was for cheese dishes 😉 – Anyways – she ALWAYS .. ALWAYS bought me my own personal mini loaf! and I would have TEA and BREAD set up once we got back to her house ^_^

On the weekends – during the summer – My mother would wake up BRIGHT AND EARLY and surprise me with setting up my pool outside.. so that by the time I woke up – the water would be nice and warm from the sun.

I would spend the entire day in that pool with my neighbor and my cousin. We would then be greeted just in the NICK OF TIME! Right before HUNGER started to kick in, with PB&J Sammiches (yes I SAID SAMMICHES!! There was never any SAND in our SAMMICH! ^_~)

And RIGHT AFTER – my neighbors mom would bring out ICECREAM and we ATE LIKE ROYALTY atop our front STAIRS people watching and making jokes lol.

By the time night came – we would empty out the pools and everyone would be sitting outside “Shooting the bull”, music on, having fun.

OH Those where the days..

At last, I am rather tired and will have to finish this another day.. 🙂

I hope you enjoy these and have a little more insight into my beginnings.

Until next time 😉

Michelle