• Home
  • About Me
  • Baby G
  • Sophie (The Gato)
  • Contact Me

Love, Chelle

Dreams. Part 1.

December 10, 2014 By Michelle Leave a Comment

dreamlog1The first time I dreamt about my mother.

It was about a month or so after her death. And I felt like I was going on auto-pilot. Work was hecktic. Life was hecktic. I was trying to balance. Personal. Emotional. Social.Work..etc.. We had just gotten thru the first couple weeks / month and half or so of her being gone. I had not had much “down time” to fully let everything just sink in “to the bone”.

Yes I felt her death. Yes I felt the pain. Yes I cried and questioned so much. But as is with most pain – the body tends to put a filter in place to help you cope with that bone deep pain. And that is exactly how I got thru for quit awhile. (and to be honest – there are still days that my brain puts that wall back up to help keep the emotions from over flooding my body again).

It happened a night that I had that total melt down. The night that my brain didn’t have the power to put that filter in place. The night that everything just started to set bone deep again. The questions flooded my mind. I questioned life. God. Family. People. Everything under the moon and sun. I questioned it. I doubted it. I HATED it. My husband was my rock. He did what he could. but – at last, the only thing that gave me some peace was sleep. And boy did I knock out that night. Going on little sleep to begin with. Emotionally drained. Mentally drained. PHYSICALLY drained. everything lined up and I didn’t have an ounce of oomph within me for anything. My body gave up.. gave in.. and I slept.. and that is when it happened. SHE came to me in my dream.

We where in the back seat of my car – me and my sister D. Except we where being chauffeured by an old musical friend of mine.Β  He drove us down this old tiny brick road. Brick walls of buildings on the side. We talked and told him to make a left. Tho there where no words (think of like a silent movie). Instead he pointed and said he knew a short cut and went right down a set of stairs and ended up at the bottom of a walk way with a black gate. Me and my sister got out of the car and off he went with the car.

We where at an old town “town square” market. Fruit stands. Blankets. Baskets and goods all around. My sister went one way – and in the corner of my eye to my right i see there is a Jewelry stand and an area with old clothes and adult pj’s. So i go that way and notion that i will meet up with her and the group in a few. As i turn – I see my sis in the corner of my eye meeting up with my husband and some other family members.. and so i continue to look at the jewelery and clothes.

Lo and behold I see this adult onsie hanging in the middle of the ceiling of where i’m standing and i go look at it. What a deal it was! Just $2. I wanted to see it but there was a lady on the her cell looking at it and blocking my view and anytime i tried to go around her she would move over and stand between me and that onsie. So i went to the other side in hopes to get a closer view. As I am examining it as itΒ  hangs in the middle of the space i’m in – in the blurry background I sense an image I know. Focusing my eyes off the onsie I see a figure. Standing there. Looking directly at me. Dressed in her black clog shoes. Blue Jeans. Red shirt and Pink Jacket. Hands in her pocket. Starring. Waiting. As if trying to grab by attention. My eyes fully focus on her and I am at a loss of words. She begins to walk toward me and it hits me.. It’s her! It really is her! I run to her and grab her.. HUG her. Kiss her.. I can smell her fragrance. The softness of her skin. I push back and look at her directly in her eyes and gasp..”You’re here!” and she replies “Yes”.. I continue – “But HOW?! You died! – you LEFT us.. I seen you at the hospital..” – to which she replied “I know..Β  – I tried to come back – but HE wouldn’t let me. He said it was time” – I hugged her again – “but you are HERE!!! I have to find dad! They lied to us.. You are here!! You didn’t leave us! Don’t EVER EVER LEAVE US AGAIN! That was a horrible joke..” I motion to my family that i now see in the background watching me and her to come over.. they do and form a circle around her and I. One by one – everyone hugs and kisses her.. stating almost verbatim what i told her.. they step back and its me and her again..

Our conversation continued…

Her – “I tried to come back to you all Michelle. He said I couldn’t. He said it was Time. He wouldn’t let me come back.” She hugs me – the tightest hug I ever experienced. I am in tears by this point..

Me : “Who Mom?! Who wouldn’t let you? Why would they take you from us? Why would HE do that to us??! WHY!?”

Her : “It doesn’t matter anymore – he gave me now. He gave me this moment. He said that I can have this moment to tell you I am ok. To let you know that I am OKAY. I can’t stay long but this moment will be ours. You need to know that all is okay with me.. I am not mad and I don’t want you to be either.”

Again she hugged me.. Again I smelled her fragrance. I felt her soft skin. I didn’t want to let go.. I grabbed my dad and tried to keep them held on to tight.. I did not want to let go..

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it like she used to do .. and I KNEW she was going to leave me again..

I woke up.. crying.. calling for her.. calling for my family to not let her go again. But there was nothing i could do – the light engulfed her image and she was gone and I was awake.

Dreams

That was the first dream I had of her.

I wasn’t sure what to think of it. She answered my questions but I still had hurt in my heart.. I still despised HIM for taking her from us..

I told my husband of the dream. He said that I needed to listen to the dream. That it was a sign. That she came to me to help me heal. I knew deep down it was – but the hurt still diluted my mind/emotions about it.

I wasn’t going to tell anyone but one thing led to another and I told my sister – then my father. Tho my mother never said who HE was – I know she meant our Creator.

I still struggle with my faith (past and present) – but deep down I know.. I believe.. there is something more. Something bigger.. Something GREATER than us. That dream was our moment. It was our “goodbye”. It was HER validation that HE does exist and that all is according to HIS plans. Not ours.

I still play the dream over and over in my mind every so often. Trying to focus on things around us.. Looking for maybe something i might have missed.. I didn’t dream of her again for awhile.

[ to be continued..]

.Michelle

Filed Under: General, Life, Personal, Updates

It’s been awhile…

October 30, 2014 By Michelle Leave a Comment

G’Evening everyone. Tis I.. the infamous Chelle-Belle/MixedFX/Chelle/Chellie/Me-Shell Mah Belle/Bug/(The Original) Cookie/ahh you get the point.

Excuse me for the all over-ness of this post. Its been awhile. It’s late. And i can’t seem to type for anything today. And I’m Tee.Eye.Ard. (Tired for those that aren’t family and don’t understand the inside joke there πŸ˜‰ )

Ahh man – you’re probably thinking – this is going to be one dumb arse post.. or perhaps you’re thinking – WTFreak is wrong with her?

LoL.. Like i said – I’m tired. My brain is done did for today – so making up fully functional sentences is a chore. So why didn’t I wait to write this? Well because – I did that the last time i started to write a post and lo and behold – here I am months later – So figured it would be better to have a runny run on type of post then no post at all right?!

SBTH-NoTime

So – lets get down to biness shall we?

We shall start with the basics –
What Have I Been up to?

Well – LIFE. Its taken up 98% of my time. I joined a box. My fellow Cross-fitters will understand that term. πŸ˜‰ Yes I am a crossfitter. (Although i fell off the bandwagon due to other LIFE occurrences but I’ll get into those later – maybe) – but yes as i was saying.. I’m a cross fitter. And let me just stop all you Negative Nancy’s now. No – I have not injured my shoulders or my knees. Yes my box cares about health and ensuring all their members lift properly. No I am not a band-wagoner. Yes I do enjoy it. No IΒ  do not do it for the glam. Yes I would recommend it. Yes I LOVE IT. No I am not the best at it But YES I do get better.

Seriously. Its been the best thus far and I am completely in love with it. Yes its plyometrics but its not just the exercise. Its the community that cross-fitters create. Its the encouragement. The friendships. The feeling I get knowing that even tho I’m DEAD LAST on my WODs – my team mates are there to PUSH me thru when Im ready to give up. Yes. It is INTIMIDATING to NO END.. but NO I WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD. <3 And yes – its not for everyone. Just like Running.. That’s not for everyone either.. but for me.. it works!

Work is good. Our office moved downtown, and although I was a bit apprehensive about it at first – I have to admit – I rather enjoy it. Its a beautiful location with beautiful views. We are a more open space type office which, again, I wasn’t too fond of at first – but – I like it now for the most part. MAKES everyone have to be a lot more social (and now no one can yell at me for being “anti social” or saying they don’t “see” me enough through out the week) seriously – its hard to miss anyone in the office now.. Granted there are some times where I wish we had a door to close or 4 walls to block peeping/nosey eyes/ears .. And one would think that common sense would sometimes kick in with certain people – but, alas – so goes with such an open area office area. And truth be told – I thoroughly enjoy my job. I work with a great team for the most part and really – can not complain (too much) lol.

Family – As many know – My mom past away back in April of this year and not a day goes by where i don’t think about her. My pops is doing his best. But – if you have ever lost anyone let alone your significant other – One knows that you NEVER get over it – you just learn to go on one day at a time. I have my down days. Days I wish I could pick up a phone and call her. Argue with her about how hard headed she is being (cuz LORD KNOWS she was) and just hear her voice again – making sure I was taking care of myself… Because again LORD KNOWS she worried about everyone and their mother more than she worried about herself. ::sigh:: and there goes yet another one of those moments..

Anyways – continuing on – home life is good.. we have started a bunch of house projects (you know, the “honey do list”) lol.. so we have about 10 projects all going on at once and absolutely ZERO completed. lol. I’ve put in some time off after thanksgiving to dedicate to getting them done, as its hard to do when there’s little time to do them in.

Honestly, my days where jam packed.. not just mine – the husbands as well – especially since his basketball league started up again.

We don’t have many “Free” weekends either. Either spending time with family. friends. birthdays. baby-showers. etc.

So between it all – I’ve been physically. mentally and emotionally exhausted. to the extreme. by the time i get home. i have just enough energy to take a shower. put my pj’s on and knock the eff out after.

And now that the Holiday season is upon us.. oof.. where does the time go?! I swearΒ  I missed summer this year. We got to enjoy or pool MAYBE a handful of times before having to close it down for the season. And I haven’t take a real vacation since our Honeymoon! OOF. x_X

I’m not complaining – its just funny how life turns out as you get older. We use to travel every year, at least twice a year.. and now, though it would be nice, LIFE takes over and sends us on a different journey. We (my husband and myself) have done our traveling when we where younger. We don’t party anymore. Hardly drink (unless its socially and even then its far and few) and you know what – I’m okay with that. I have nothing to prove to anyone. We do us. And I love it. Its what being a responsible adult is all about. No need for bling or boasting out to the world whats good in our lives. We live a fairly low lime light life and I am beyond grateful and happy for our blessings. (that doesn’t mean people don’t irk the ish outta me tho lol) But slowly but surely I am learning who matters. What matters. And how to WISELY spend my time on and with who.

I have also learned that people will always let you down. Even when you know they are capable of BETTER. You just have to say your piece, step aside and let them fall. Hopefully they learn from it and if not – You learn from it and move on.

So yes – let me end this here – my ramblings are becoming much more cryptic and all over so – i think its time to pull the plug and get to bed.

I’ll post again soon. Hope everyone has a happy and SAFE Halloween. Don’t od on candy and sweets. But def. enjoy the day. πŸ˜€

Til Next time.

Love, Chelle.

Filed Under: General, Updates

June Eco Emi open box

June 29, 2014 By Michelle Leave a Comment

image

I am an eco emi subscriber.. have been for over a year now.. I received the June box a few days ago. I know im a bit late on this open box but hey.. better late than never right?
Since the boxes tend to come toward the end of the month they are usually themed toward the following month.
So for example, tho this is the June box, it is themed for 4th of July.
image

I’ll start off by reviewing the lavender cuticle oil by whooty hoot creations. When the box arrived and I opened it the first thing I grabbed was the cuticle oil it couldn’t have came at a more perfect time as my cuticles where in need lol . Normally i use lushes lemon on my cuticles as they tend to get dryand cracky often. I figured i would give this a shot in place of the lush one.
I’ve used this approximately: twice a day for the past 4 days and am fairly impressed. 1 coat along the base of the nail and then I rub it in and I’m good to go. It has done its job in rehydrating my cuticles.
I’ve also been using the lime coconut lip balm by Molly rose. It contains zesty lime and a subtle kiss of coconut, is 100% vegan & organic. I have tons of lip balms so, I will be the first to say that im not one to really dedicate myself to one brand/type. With that said, this does smell absolutely delicious and is not oily or gritty. It is perfect to throw in a purse for a quick grab.
I will have to review the other items later as I have yet to use them. Couple of the items that came with it were an organic shampoo for dogs by Atobiko, a meal packet by amazing grass, which is sourced from organic ingredients to help give you a nice boost!, a nail file, pressed eye shadow by Lauren Brooke, and a trial packet of spf 30.
All items provided by Eco Emi are normally all natural, all organic.
I love my subscription as it is usually items I wouldn’t know about to begin with and it helps me find organic and natural alternatives to some of lifes standards.
If you are interested in signing up for this subscription, head on over to eco-emi.com. as I said earlier, this is a paid subscription. I pay to receive this box and do highly recommend it. πŸ™‚

– Love Chelle

Filed Under: General

VSVox Box Review

June 24, 2014 By Michelle Leave a Comment

VoxBox Arrival
VoxBox Contents
vsvoxbox
VoxBox products to the test!

I recently received my ever so lovely VSVoxBox! To say that I was excited is an understatement. If you know me, heck, if you don’t know me, I’m a huge fan of Victoria Secret bras. So to get this was a pleasant surprise.

Now, Full disclosure here, influenster is a non paid service that sends me items to review. So, although these items where specifically given to me to review, my opinion on them is based solely off my true feelings of the actual product. However, again just so no one starts any drama, there’s that disclaimer πŸ˜‰

When the box arrived, I was super excited. My VSSportsbra came in a neon yellow color – which i love because its summer and I love my bright colors. It also came with a pack of VSSport socks, a tape measure & a 25% off coupon (that is now expired).

I decided to put the items to the test on a run I took a few days after receiving them. And let me just say – I LOVED them so much – I ordered more from their Sale they had going on. (will post pictures when they arrive). The socks are so comfy and the colors are to die for (again – i LOVE my bright colors, especially in the summer!) – super airy and kept my feet nice and cool while hitting the pavement. The VSSports bra – is soft and comes a bit padded. Not like more cleavage padding but padded just enough so that it keeps your twins well concealed πŸ˜‰ Its super supportive and fit like a glove. With VS Bra’s I tend to run a cup size up so if you have never purchased from VS i suggest you go in and get fitted. It’s a quick task and you’ll be glad you did. Finding the correct size doesn’t only make you look better – it helps SUPPORT YOU better as well! After the long and sweaty run, I was impressed with the absorption the Sports bra had. I’ve had other sports bra’s and they tend to flatten my boobs with no support so when you run the twins flop around and then after you can just feel the nasty sweat in between. (sorry for the “graphicals” but if your a female runner with a modest rack –Β  I’m sure you’ll understand where I am coming from) – The VS Sports bra – performed perfectly. Tho there where signs of sweat – I didn’t feel the clamminess against my skin.

It held my twins nicely while I ran – no smooshing or high bouncing and it looked good to! So all in all – I have officially found my new sports bra (well 3 now since i order more since then πŸ˜‰ )

Again – If you are in the market for a sports bra – I highly encourage you to check these out. They come in a few different designs and layouts and can run around $49+ (however keep an eye out for their sales!! πŸ˜‰ – Because we all know I love sales and VS does some good half price type sales every so often πŸ˜‰ )

And of course – grab the socks while you’re at it! You won’t be disappointed ^_^

Also, if you’re interested in becoming a potential influenster – make sure you click the influenster logo on the right hand side and sign up! πŸ™‚

-Love Chelle

Filed Under: General Tagged With: influenster, reviews, voxbox

First Post

June 23, 2014 By Michelle Leave a Comment

Good Morning & Welcome to LoveChelle.com

So – since I am strapped for time – I’ve decided to just go ahead and throw up the blog at wordpress.com for now. Easy Peasy Fresh and Steazy πŸ˜‰

As you may or may not know already – My name is Michelle – Thus where the “Chelle” part comes from ^_~ Born and raised in Chicago – but I’ll post an about me page and you can divulge in all the details there ..

This blog will be the dedicated portion of where i post up posts and reviews of the things I love (or hate) – and insights into my world.

I’ll also post freebies, contests, items I think you might find interesting as well πŸ™‚

So here’s to new beginnings and happy endings πŸ˜‰

Thanks for joining and look forward to what the future holds!

Love, Chelle

Filed Under: General

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8

About Me

Michelle

Michelle

Welcome to my little corner on the web. My name's Michelle! I post tons of things on crafts, deals and just personal life and things i love with you!

[More About Me]

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

Copyright © 2021 Β· LoveChelle.com